Are You a "Sneak Eater"?

Think of this term "sneak eater" and we all smile (to ourselves) and know that we've all done it at one time or another. For many of us, it's a regular activity, and a major barrier to a weight loss effort. That's why I wanted to get this topic out on the table in my Today Show segment. Why do we do it? How to stop it? I've got some thoughts on this, and some practical solutions - and hope you do too. I'd love to hear your experiences and strategies to overcome this very common diet sabotage.

What is Sneak Eating?

It's what I call "secret eating". We do it out of guilt, feeling we should not be eating, and most often from a sense of deprivation in a diet plan. We feel others are judging what we eat, and if eaten in private "no one will know". Of course, the problem here is that WE know that it's happening. And, many times, we know we're not even physically hungry when we do it!

What Causes Sneak Eating?

Food is a great reinforcer and can be very soothing. Whether we're bored, stressed, fatigued, or a variety of other reasons, food is a great comfort. Stimulating our senses related to eating - not only taste and smell, but the visual impact of food - is a source of great pleasure.

Food can provide "temporary relief" for stress. Many of us turn to food at times of emotional stress, which can strike at any time of day or night and create some problematic sneak eating.

The late afternoon is another popular time for sneak eating. That late afternoon lull - several hours since lunch (if it was eaten at all!), fatigue of the day winding down, is often another stimulus to sneak eat. Whether it's co-workers or family members around us, we want to avoid being "caught" eating.

Evenings are also a frequent problem for many. The stress of the day is done, obligations taken care of, and it's some "personal time", which often means food. Here again, with family members and friends around us, we don't want them to see our indulgences, lest they think there is "out of control" eating and "there goes the diet".

What to do?

(1) Give yourself permission to eat - and then it's not sneaking anymore! This is not so easy, because it's the wake-up call to pre-plan some effective eating, both to nourish and soothe.

(2) Keep a food log, and identify when you're most likely to sneak eat, and what you're most likely to look for. Be specific. For example, not just "sweets", but a chocolate bar? cookies? You get the idea.

(3) Make a list of your favorite "sneak foods". Think about some lower calorie alternatives that will satisfy, but not trigger overeating.

(4) Consider ways to manage stress without food. This is certainly tough, and takes a lot of thought and experimentation. Effective strategies range from keeping your hands busy (clean out a drawer, learn to knit) to keeping your mouth busy with non-food activities (chewing sugarless gum, drinking herbal tea, or water).

Managing weight is a constant challenge, and we must all be prepared for the barriers that continually face us in the quest for a healthy lifestyle. "Sneak eating" is a symptom of weight loss woes, which can be managed and resolved, once it is recognized.

What do you think?

Comments

I am so glad you have brought this topic up. "Secret Eating" is the reason why I never lose the weight I set out to. I "secret eat" everyday and the only person I'm harming is myself. Thank you for bringing this issue to light and I would love to see a segment about it on the air.

i'm guilty of this too. i definitely can stay on track when i'm eating with other people, but when i get home, then all my healthy eating goes out the window.

i wonder why someone who is gaining weight----does not stop after 40 or 50 pounds

Gee Pat, probably because us "foodies" view food completely differently than people that do not have weight problems. Food to a "foodie" is a fun activity, with great taste, comfort and lastly nurishment. We eat to enjoy it or to comfort. Most thin people eat for nurishment first and often don't finish meals or are distracted by the day and "just forget to eat". A "foodie" would never do this. You don't see thin people hanging out by the appetizer table...

I developed my sneak eating habit in elementary school -reaching for treats and snacks that were normally restricted. It's taken more than 30 years to figure out WHY I turn to food for comfort. Being conscious of that reasoning helps me recognize the moment when the impulse is striking. I can slow down, stop and make a different, more healthy choice. You can change, but it takes constant, conscious effort.

I just did this today - at lunch. I've had a really rough week, 2 deathts and a lot of work stress. So for lunch I had a donut and poutine. Do I actually feel better? No. I knew it wasn't a good idea, but once I thought about comforting my feelings for food, I couldn't stop. I was fixated on it. At least I got the small poutine...

People who don't stop gaining after 40 or 50 pounds don't think of it as having gained that much. Usually they're in denial about the actual amount and think "oh, I've gained 10 lbs in the last 2 months", etc. It happens gradually so they don't understand how a little sneak eating here and there can add up over 6 months or a year. I am a sneak eater too and it's hard to break!

You caught me! I'am a sneak eater and its been harder to lose that extra baby weight. I feel like i've just been putting weight on 5 lbs. then it turns into 15 lbs. It's when I bored and stressed mid day. Keeping a journal of everything I eat is a great idea I'm going to try it! Thanks!

Thank you for writing this. I am on week 2 of a huge lifestyle change. My eating habits and exercise routine has been stricter - yet I still find myself sneaking to eat something when I'm home alone; that I usually wouldn't eat on my own. Now I know I'm not the only one. Thank you to all the commentors as well!

Hey! It's not the sneak, it's the snack. Pop some corn, enough for a couple of days, great fiber. Don't keep the nasty stuff in the house. Nuts are great, but only a handful at a time. And lastly, what is really going on with you that's driving you to eat comfortably rather than healthy?

I guess you can add me with the rest of them. I have to eat every 3 or 4 hours
or I am starving and end up vomiting. My friends do not eat the same time I do and eat later. I can't eat late. This is so frustrating but one I have tried to explain to friends but they look at me like what planet are you on!
Help!!!!

Joan,
It's very easy to try and give others rational advice when you are on the other side of the fence (i.e. perhaps not a "sneak eater"). But for others, such as myself, an engineering student bogged down constantly with work and stress, it is not as simple. I find that while I am working/thinking I want to chew and sneak eat to comfort my stress; this is a physical and psychological desire. So yes, I try and chew on carrots or grapes or gum (during exams) but sometimes I do want something sweet and baked goods are my demise. My advice to others is to try and make yourself busy or try to be around more people to avoid bad habits if you can't control yourself on your own. Also, try to be honest with yourself and those you are closest too, it limits your "sneaky" behavior. It's definitely tough but there are healthy options out there and there's nothing wrong with a treat every noew and then! :)

Oh My Gosh!! This is me. My baby is now 9months old. I have no energy to exercise. My husband is thin and can eat whatever. I can't. I love sweets and I try to not buy them but when I have weak moments in the store I rack up and hide them. I wait to he is asleep or involved in a TV show and I down whatever sweet treat it is that I can't get off my mind. I know it is bad for me. I tell myself not to eat it and I find that just makes me want to eat it even more. I don't want to look like Nicole Richie but I do want to be healthy and be a good food and exercise role model for my daughter. I know I am stressed and have a lack of self esteem but I just have the hardest time with self-control. Please help. If you have any suggestions. It makes me feel so gross sneaking around my house eating behind my husbands back. He doesn't say anything to me about what I eat, but I see a certain look in his eye when I mention wanting dessert or something like that. I feel embarrased and ashamed.

This is definitely me; however, I'm not sure that this article is really all that helpful. Anyone who has this problem has likely heard this stuff MANY times... the real issue with secret eating or secret binging is that it's an emotional issue that is unique to each of us, and to solve this problem, instead of "keeping busy" or "eating low cal alternatives" (which rarely works in the long run) we must figure out why we are doing what we are doing, what emotions trigger it, and how to face them and deal with them in ways other than eating (it's not always about stress). This is extremely difficult and something I'm still trying to figure out how to do.

I agree that that this issue needs to be dealt with for those of us that have it. But this type of advice has been heard over and over again. "Consider ways to manage stress without food", fine but we obviously don't know how or we would be doing it. We need more than the idea, we need real answers, real advice from someone who actually knows how this feels.

As for those of you who just don't get it, you never will. Why do smokers smoke? Why do drinkers drink? Why do kids suck their thumb? Because it feels good. Really, that's it, it feels good. Maybe its only for a moment but that moment can be pure heaven. Yes, I hate that I have to shop in the "fat" section but until I am willing to give up my addiction and find a real solution it won't happen.

Try telling a smoker to just stop, or a sex addict to just stop. It won't happen. Sneak eaters and others with bad food habits are addicts just the same. Food is our best friend the one that makes us feel good and just like a toxic relationship, hard to let go of.

fix a plate of your foods that you sneak
Decide which one you really want. eat only one

I always "snuck" food as I wasn't allowed to eat! I was put on diet pills at 5 yrs old until 15....

I have been a 'sneaker' all my life. I crave the comfort and taste of forbidden treats. Just yesterday, at a buffet restaurant I stalked the dessert display 3 times looking for a dessert that was cut small enough that I could grab and gobble before I went back to the table with my healthy selections. I am glad to report that I did not take a dessert and discussed this crazy episode with my devoted and fellow dieting hubby.
It isn't enough just to KNOW the cause of my decade long sneaking - I simply can't do it and maintain my weight loss. So my strategy has been to identify the time of day when this is a problem, the situations, the availability of bad foods and PLAN PLAN PLAN. My personal danger time is in the car, driving home from work. Instead of a candy bar I have pre-counted baggies of almonds stashed in my purse. This is working.

I too sneak food, especially when I am stressed. We all self medicate in some way to adapt to our changing lives, my medication of choice? Chocolate. At times I wish I were a child again and able to eat guilt free, but alas, I find myself at the "big table" and that guilt is always present in my life. It seems so simple doesn't it? Just do not bring the "bad" food home... but is so much more than just food when you sneak eat - it is an emotional process, one that is deep seeded in nature and a very hard habit to break.

I get up at night and eat I have been doing that for years. It seems like I can't sleep if I don't have something. It's not like I eat fatting foods all the time its just I have to have something. Many of my family members do this as well. Is there something that I can do to break this habbit!!!

deanna-
if you must have a midnight snack, dont go to bed right after. thereve been studies on this, & has been featured on the Tyra Banks show. Wait about an hour-hour and a half before going to bed. This will give the body time to work It will give the body time to break it down before you are asleep. Why do you feel like you have to HAVE to have something? youre probably putting food with comfort. one thing to do to break the habit is too make food "work", like having to microwave food before you eat it. also, if you make yourself wash ALL the dishes that you use, you wont want to do the work and may not snack. You may be mistaking your hunger for thrist, so keep some water by your bed. If you REALLY must snack, keep it high-protein, low carb, such as lean turkey wrapped in lettuce. also, you may want food at night because you dont satisfy yourself during the day, so try to treat during the day when youll feel satisfied and not want to snack later. dont let your family members influence you!http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Cookbook:Midnight_Snack

I am probably the worlds' sneakiest eaters. I dont just sneak eat here and there, instead, I sneak-sneak eat. Basically, I sneak around to eat unhealthy foods, but I also sneak fatty foods into my house and hide them from my kids, and/or my husband. The reason I sneak these forbidden goodies into the house is to avoid having to share my treasures. Meanwhile, I continue to gain profoundly and then try to sneak the weight gain around on top of it. How sneaky is that? I sneakiness was physically active sneakiness like; sneaking in a walk during the day, sneaking in extra sit-ups during a routine, or sneaking my own snacks/meals/drinks into my purse,instead of subjecting myself to seek the convenience of food restaraunts. Actually, I'd really like to sneak into my old clothes to tell you the truth. In addittion to my sneaky behaviors everyday, I excuse my addiction, claiming food comforts my stresses/emotions/ and boredom (lack of energy and motivation) with food(s). The honest truth is, "I've become so unhappy."

I love it: I too would like to be able to sneak into my old clothes! I find that when I do sneak a snack (and who am I sneaking around from except me, because I live alone), I might take a few rice cakes, but then there are just a few left, so why not finish off the bag? I should just never buy it in the first place. I know all about portion control, but that doesn't seem to be working right now.

I love it: I too would like to be able to sneak into my old clothes! I find that when I do sneak a snack (and who am I sneaking around from except me, because I live alone), I might take a few rice cakes, but then there are just a few left, so why not finish off the bag? I should just never buy it in the first place. I know all about portion control, but that doesn't seem to be working right now.

I sneak eat too, and feel lousy about myself after the fact. My husband is doing something around the house or outside, and I'm purusing the pantry or browsing in the frig. It doesn't even have to be something all that great for me to want it when it's that time of day, which for me is between getting home from work & having dinner. I've sneak eaten olives, pickles, chocolate chips (although not at the same time!)just to have something to consume. It's caused "sneaky pounds" to pile on, and I've just begun a "lifestyle change", and will hopefully stick to it. I need to leave the house altogether at that time of the day, or I know I'll be back in the kitchen! I hate feeling pathetic & out of control with this bad habit.

I always caution my wife on what she eats and when she eats it. It's tough for me because I follow a strict organic diet (and she does not) and she's breastfeeding which could have effects on the baby. "No" I don't want to dictate what she eats because we are totally different and everyone has the freedom to eat what ever they want. I would however like our child to follow a similar diet where caution is taken into account being that obesity is on the rise. BTW Great article.

I sneak eat all the time and then feel terrible for days! I do this because I wasn't allowed to eat what I wanted when I was small. Now's the time for me to, "GET OVER IT" and quit blaming others for my downfall. I am obese, and I can do better. With that said, "How about a Diet Coke and popcorn?"

i used to be a sneak eater. then i grew up and decided to eat whatever i wanted. that resulted in a 25 lb weight gain. since then i've been fighting it. i have now won. i keep only healthy food on hand and loooooove smoothies - fruit, juice and ice. yummm

I can't believe I just found this article randomly moments after my husband has found my sneak eating trash stash (in a filing cabinet drawer) The man I can share everything with, whom I am closest to, was kept in the dark about this. I am embarrassed and I am never embarrassed about anything with him. The shame is immense.

I find help in prayer and drawing closer to good friends. When I do these thngs, I find myself satisfied with very little food. Sometimes the answer is very easy -- stay happy and busy and food doesn't mean so much anymore.

Sneak eating, or, any indulgent eating I believe is an addiction of sorts. I was able to quit smoking years ago,then, later able to quit drinking. Both very difficult to accomplish. For some reason, unknown, I am unable to conquer the addiction of improper eating.....I think it has to do with the fact that in order to live we must eat, so, we are constantly tempted to eat unhealthy foods.

I've been a "sneak eater" since I was about 12 years old and never thought I could "break the habit," but I have. It's true that you have to identify the underlying psychological issues first (for me, feeling like if people saw me eating, they would blame me for being overweight and be disgusted by me) but once you've started to make your peace with that, it's all about discipline. I made the excuse of "this is just the way I am, it's an addiction" for years, but you really CAN break this addiction. For me, it all comes down to MAKING myself eat in front of people whose approval I care about and never by myself. For example, if there's a tray of cookies in the Staff Lounge at work, I only take one if the cute guy from down the hall is in the room, and never when I'm the only one around. It's so hard and embarrassing at first, but I swear it does get better. And if you slip up and start "sneaking" again, try to forgive yourself and start again. You really can get out of this addiction - I'm living proof!

I have been a "sneak eater for a long time.I had my twins in 1999,and every since then I have done it.I was told that I wasn't eating enough when I was pregnant(they were born 3 months early).So that's how it started.And now i'm looking into having the lap band surgery.And I have changed my eating habits alot.But sometimes it still happens.I would love to be a guest to talk about this topic!!..Keep me in mind if you all do another show!!!

Yup, me too.
It is a source of comfort, and a terrible habit....but people never talk about how darn good food TASTES! That's why I do it. I once read a quote from Liz Taylor explaining how her taste buds "get in an uproar" and she overeats. I totally relate to that!

At times (like now), sneaking eating has been a problem for me. Strangely, many of the men in my family are sneak eaters. I can remember my father standing in front of the open freezer in the middle of the night eating ice cream from the box. He always left the it very neatly eaten, leaving the product with square corners and smooth surfaces. A few years ago, my mother, living with my brother for a few weeks, mentioned that he too was sneak eating. Is is nature or nurture?

There are evenings when I can hardly wait until my wife is in bed so that I can make a quick peanut butter sandwich (my favorite "sneak").

Why do I do it? Of course, I am trying to drop some weight, and most of the day I eat well (bran cereal, soymilk, fruit; turkey on whole wheat with veggies; lowfat meat/fish and rice and a big mixed salad at dinner). A break in this habit would be notice by my wife. But I don't think she'd scold me.

What is the solution? Eat more small meals. Eat peanut butter at lunch. Go to bed early with my wife.

foodies have no excuse. just because they love food, etc. I am a foodie, not overweight, and I hang out at the appetizer table.

but I love exercise as much as I love food.

Living without roommates for the first time I am definitely noticing a tendency to eat more at home. About 15 lbs more.

I changed jobs and moved to this apartment within the same week, and didn't get paid for the first month at the new job. The stress of trying to keep up with the additional bills, settling into the new apartment and not having anyone around has been high; and trying to re-set my routines has been very difficult - especially with the start of winter.

Thanks for posting this article, and thanks to everyone who has a positive comment here. When you're in a gaining cycle you have more than enough negativity for yourself, others heaping it on definitely doesn't help. I'm not extremely overweight, and I agree that if you don't exercise you have more than one problem, but a positive attitude can be the foundation for a great beginning.

Oh goodness, I simply do this because my parents never bought me sweets, and I am addicted to the oddest things. Cake batter, Doughs, mostly everything before it's quite called a complete food. And boy, am I starting to gain some weight.
Although this acrticle is bringing it to the light, I believe this will change no ones perspective on this "issue." Mostly because people really do feel better after snacking, and drinking some water or tea, isn't very soothing. We need something on out stomachs, and tea is not that something.

my problem is that i sneak eat healthy food. i never allow myself to eat unhealthy foods (and i'm a strict vegan) but i just can't stop eating. i eat way too many servings even when i plan out my meals. i do really well the whole day and then after dinner i am still hungry (emotionally, not physically) and so i end up eating the healthy stew i made to last all week until it is gone, or i eat an entire bag of almonds, or i eat the rest of the wild rice i made for dinner when i was supposed to only have a single serving that day. it's really frustrating to explain to people why i am overweight when i am "the healthiest eater they know." it's because too many calories are too many calories, no matter if they come from fruit or cake

When I sneak eat, I'm not only hiding it from other people, but I feel like I do it impulsively against what I would like to do as well. Having kept a food journal on and off for about 10 years now, sometimes I feel guilty having to write multiple entries for one meal. As a result, by the end of the day, I will eat a ton of snacks, even if they are healthy. Maybe I will eat one banana and cereal for breakfast, an apple, cup of sugar free coffee, cereal for lunch, and non-fat yogurt and fruit for dinner...but around night time, I will eat 2-3 granola bars, milk, cereal out of the box, and another banana. It gets quite out of hand.