Is Your Partner Making You Fat?

It's a real life fact that a partner can influence your weight. Now, most of us don't need a scientific study to show this—although there are many! We simply know this to be true, based on our own experience. That's the topic for my Today segment, along with the show's contributing psychiatrist, Dr. Gail Saltz. This discussion makes sense, as I believe that food and emotion always seem to go hand in hand. Do you?

Why does this happen, and when are we most vulnerable? I've seen this most often during several key periods of the woman's life cycle:

A new relationship
New love is both blind and hungry. Seriously, because we have such a big focus on food in our country, a very typical social activity is eating—often. Meals, snacks, late-night—you name it.

A show of support
Eating the same foods together is a bonding experience. Often, women take on the eating habits of their significant others. It is unrelated to nutrition, but to a comfort level with the partner.

Post-pregnancy weight gain
Those pregnancy pounds have piled on, the baby's here, and there are 20+ pounds still to lose. Often, the new dad has gained weight in "sympathy," and there's a big barrier to moving to the "pre-baby" eating habits. Fatigue often contributes to this inertia in getting back on track.

Mid-life issues
Beginning in the 40s, as many women are entering the mid-life years, change is ongoing. Whether it's kids growing up, aging parents, career changes, and/or hormonal issues, there's a lot of pressure and stress for most women in this group.

The ultimate multi-tasking woman often feels overwhelmed at times (I know I do), and a loving partner will frequently feel a genuine need to "reward with food." Whether it's a fancy dinner, a box of candy, or a giant sundae from your favorite ice cream store, it's a show of love and kindness.

So, are there any solutions to this problem? Read on. While some couples "wake up" together"—Gee is this us?"—as the weight creeps up, others turn on the light-bulb alone, and make their partner aware of this.

Watch the video below to see our couple in the TV segment who looked at some recent pictures of themselves just one year after their wedding, and couldn't believe they were the same people as in their wedding photos! For her, a 20 pound gain, and for him, a 30 pound gain! They turned their partnership to weight loss, and have not only lost the extra weight, but have kept it off for six months (and they're still happily married!). Their healthy lifestyle is now permanently ingrained in their relationship.

Watch the segment from TODAY There are some easy ways to manage this very common problem. The only things you need are a cooperative partner, and some imagination. If you're willing to accept that food has become a little too much a part of your life, it's pretty simple to substitute some calories for other activities both you and your partner enjoy. You can learn to bond with togetherness, not food. We all know what to do. It's implementing these changes that is difficult. That's where your partner can be of particular help if you're doing this together.

Wasn't that marriage vow "in thickness and in health?" Seriously, talk to you partner about this, and come up with a plan. Two brains work better than one, when it comes to partnership weight loss.

I'd love to hear about your own particular "battle of the partnership bulge."

Here are some of my favorite tips, to help with eating, activity, and emotions—all important to both starting and sustaining a weight loss effort. They've helped me and my patients - pick and choose what works for you!

EATING

At home:

1. Keep less food at home: plan your meals around lean protein and lots of fruits and vegetables.


2. Limit the snacks in the house: shop together, or at least make a list together, and agree to one or two snacks in the house at one time. Aim for the 100 cal snack packs.


3. Cook together, and focus on creative way to lower fat, and use spices. Subscribe to Cooking Light magazine, or others, and check out online low-calorie cooking sites.


4. Don't "reward" with food, and find other substitutes, like some flowers, a manicure, a good book, etc...

In a restaurant:

1. Share an entree, and each order a salad or clear soup


2. Split a dessert (agreeing on one is the hard part!)


3. Avoid fast-food restaurants

EXERCISE

1. Substitute an after-dinner walk for a dessert


2. Buy a pedometer for each person, and include a daily 30 minute walk together


3. Take a walk instead of meeting for a coffee and a pastry


4. Find some physical activities "for two" like dancing.

EMOTIONS

1. Support each other at times of temptation


2. Reward good behavior and be positive (avoid the "should you be eating that?" query)
   
3. Commit to mutual effort


4. Point out any accidental sabotage your partner may bring to the table


5. Keep communications open

For those who have been reading, saying "Great, but my spouse won't help"—there is still a good plan for you. If you have to go it alone, just ask your partner to be neutral (with your goal to avoid being judgmental the weight of your partner or others). Just do your own thing. Seek support from family, friends, or groups. Online options are also available.

Let me know your thoughts!

More On Food Allergies

I enjoyed hearing from all of you who know first-hand about food allergies–your own or your children's. It's important to understand, as most of you did, that there is a tremendous challenge in covering a complex topic in only a few minutes for a TV segment. Our goal is to provide general, scientific evidence-based information which is helpful to the general public, but we cannot cover all points. (Even some important ones!)

What is important is raising awareness in this important area, and providing some fundamental strategies to assess and manage food allergies. For those who struggle daily with a severe food allergy, life can be a challenge.

Active research in this area will hopefully provide a vaccine in the future, altering the immune system response to a problem food. Many academic centers across the country are working towards understanding the complexities of the food allergy response.

We hope to do future segments on food allergies and update progress in the field. ...Stay tuned!

Other thoughts?

After School: Busy Day Dinners

I always enjoy watching the ancient TV reruns of Leave It to Beaver, where June has apparently spent most of the day shopping and cooking a wonderful dinner for Ward and the boys. I almost laugh out loud when I see June returning from the supermarket (carrying a bag of groceries), wearing high-heels and a shirt-waist dress, complete with a string of pearls and full makeup.

Was life really like that in the '50s? I can't answer that question. (Can you?) But what I can say is that times have changed in some ways. While we might not be dressing up to go grocery shopping, and regularly cooking for several hours for the evening meal, what we all do share with June Cleaver is the desire to have an evening meal with our families. It's a great time to regroup and reconnect with our family at the end of a busy day.

The time priority, in my view, is the precious opportunity for family members to regroup, eat together, and share their day's experiences. I think it's a ritual so important to establish as often as possible.

With back-to-school activities in full swing, not only moms, but every family member has more going on than the relatively "lazy days of summer." So, how to put together some Busy Day Dinners seemed like a good topic to address on my Today Show segment. It is definitely possible to avoid the fast-food take out line, and create your own "fast food" at home.

Here are some ideas my family has enjoyed, and I hope yours will, too. Please send along your ideas of how to put together a busy day dinner. While it's always fun (at least for many of us) to cook from scratch, it lowers the pressure level to save this for the weekends and special days. This keeps cooking fun, and not yet "one more thing to add on to the day."

First, I have two words for you: rotisserie chicken. As you'll see below, this can be the base of several easy-to-prepare dishes:

As a sandwich: Chicken salad or sliced chicken. Add some lettuce and tomato.

As a main dish salad: Shredded along with cut up veggies, light cheese and more.

On the bone: Topped with some chicken gravy (instant or jar) with some microwaveable veggies and rice.

Another basic concept in planning is to keep it simple. Foods we associate for breakfast or lunch make fabulous, easy dinners.

Here are some quick basics:

Soup and Sandwich
Add a salad and fruit and it's done. Try tortillas or whole grain wraps as a change from bread and rolls.

Salad for Dinner
Mix any lean protein from the deli (ham, chicken, turkey), some low fat cheese, and some vegetables. Add a whole grain roll or bread.

Frozen Dinners
While frozen entrees abound, make your own quick meal using frozen raw shrimp. Put in boiling water with powdered Cajun seasoning. Serve over couscous. Add a side of microwave frozen veggies.

Pasta
We all know the old standby of pasta and marinara sauce in a jar. Try a jar of pesto, with some whole wheat pasta. Add some pre-cooked turkey sausage for extra flavor.

Breakfast for Dinner
An omelet using eggs, egg whites, egg substitute–whatever you like. Add some veggies and maybe some low fat shredded cheese.

Ultimate No-Cooking Dinners
Try peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat bread, with some carrot and celery sticks on the side. A glass of skim or 1% milk rounds it out. How about a bowl of Cheerios with berries, and some skim milk?

What about dessert?
In a word, YES. Fresh fruit with whipped topping is a plus, or squirt some chocolate syrup on some strawberries. Low-fat ice cream products abound, and the single serving is automatic portion control. Any favorite item, about 100-150 calories in a "treat" is a fun part of everyday eating.

Let your imagination be your guide! Other ideas?

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More from Madelyn:

• Busy Day Dinners at a Glance

Watch the Busy Day Dinners segment from TODAY:
Click image to view.

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More from iVillage Food:

• 40 Quick-to-the-Table Dinner Ideas
• Our Best Quick & Easy Recipes

Food Allergies on the Rise

While we're always looking to optimize good health with food, for more than 10 million Americans, certain foods can be health damaging. That's what's known as a food allergy.

For both children and adults, food allergies are on the rise, particularly peanuts. Plus, "gluten-free" bakeries are popping up throughout the country and many restaurants (even big chains!) now have dining options for people with food allergies.

What's all of this about and why is the incidence skyrocketing for some of the major offenders? Perhaps, more importantly, what should you do if it strikes you or someone you know? My Today Show segment addressed this important topic, which has a lot of people confused.

The "big 8" of food allergies are: Eggs, peanuts, milk, soy, shellfish (shrimp, scallops), tree nuts (walnuts, almonds), fin fish, and gluten (wheat, barley, rye). While allergies can be found for any food, these are the most common.

To shed some light on this confusing area, I'd like to share some questions my patients frequently ask about food allergies.

What is a food allergy?

A food allergy occurs when the body perceives a harmful substance has entered, creating an immune system response. Certain chemicals, including "histamines," are part of this response, resulting in a variety of symptoms including rashes and respiratory problems. (Think "anti-histamines" that are well known to fight some allergic responses.)

What are the causes of a food allergy?

While the specific causes of food allergies are unknown, there are a few theories out there to consider:

1. The global food supply: With food coming from all over the world, there might be allergens in these new food sources, causing a response in some people.
2. Unrecognized allergens occurring in processed foods.
3. Feeding babies certain foods before three months.
4. Concern with hygiene: Too many antibacterial products don't expose the immune system to enough "challenges," making some people more susceptible to a response.

How do I know if I have a food allergy?

A food allergy comes on quickly, within minutes, not hours. The response is always the same–Rash, swelling, respiratory problems, or gastrointestinal problems.

It's important to recognize this pattern early, as a mild response often triggers a more severe response with later exposure to the offending foods.

Can food allergies be cured?

Food allergies can be managed by avoiding the offending food and seeking treatment by an allergist, who can help with "desensitization" treatments. (Don't try this at home!) Sometimes children outgrow allergies like eggs and milk, but peanut allergies seem to be lifelong.

What is a gluten allergy?

Gluten is a protein found in wheat, rye, and barley. It's not technically an "allergy," but can damage the gastrointestinal (GI) tracts of people with celiac disease (about 1 in 100 people). Others have a sensitivity to gluten, with a variety of GI symptoms.

The growth of gluten-free bakeries and special menus sections of gluten-free items in restaurants have risen with the increasing awareness of this problem.

What are lifestyle changes I can make to minimize my risk of an allergic reaction?

Keep a food log to monitor your body's response, if you suspect a food allergy. Check with your primary care doctor, who can help you locate an allergist for further testing and treatment if needed.

Read labels carefully. New government guidelines require packages to have "easy language," as in "contains milk" or "contains wheat," instead of technical terms that are confusing. Ask about ingredients in restaurants, and inquire among your friends and family when eating away from home.

Food allergies can be managed by taking action. It's important to address this with your doctor, as severe allergic responses can be life threatening. That's why many people are given an "EpiPen," an automatic single injection of epinephrine (an antidote to the allergic response that can block breathing) that a person can self-administer in case of a severe respiratory response.

What have your personal experiences been living with food allergies? What other questions or comments do you have?

Watch the Food Allergies on the Rise segment from TODAY:

After School: Snack Happy

The end of summer is near, and with that many of our thoughts turn to "Back-to-School" activities. One important area to think about is some creative ways to "refuel" our children with a snack after the school day, helping them keep up with a variety of after school activities. So, here's how to snack happy, the topic of my Today Show segment.

With my own children, there was always a lot of variety in after school activities, ranging from music lessons, to sports practices, to just hanging out at home (always a favorite!). I'd spend a lot of time figuring out some ways to provide some healthy and fun snacks to keep my children energized and satisfied. What I did learn was that a little pre-thinking about the day's activities helped both my children and me design the best snack, based on the eating for the day.

There are three key questions to answer before picking a snack:

1. When did you eat lunch?
2. When will you eat dinner?
3. What is the after school activity?

Once this is done, it's much easier to check out the snack "categories." Check out some of my personal favorites and let me know about your own ideas. While this list is long, just skip to those items that appeal to you and your children. It's what works for your family (not mine!) that counts!

“Early Lunch/Late Dinner”

Was lunch at 11? Family dinner at 7:30?

At around 3 PM, this is the time for a more substantial snack, since it's about four hours between meals (that's a long time!) and energy can lag.

• Sandwich: Easy as peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat bread (or fiber-rich white, if kids won’t eat whole wheat) or some lean ham or turkey and a slice of low-fat cheese.

Try small pita breads or tortillas for variety. And, they can roll anything up–including turkey or other low-fat hot dogs.


• Cereal (mix two or three) and milk (1% or skim)


• Easy Pizza: English muffin or pita bread with pizza squeeze sauce, shredded low-fat mozzarella, and turkey pepperoni. Stick it in the microwave or toaster oven.

Some kids will not even wait for it to cook, just dig in and eat the components separately! (That’s real life, and makes no difference!)

• Fruit: Bananas, apples, plums, pears–whatever your child likes.

While it seems easy to go into the fridge, most kids don't go looking for fruit, so keep it out on the table, where it can be seen. Choose single, whole fruit. They’re the easiest to eat without making a mess.

Keep grapes around, either in the fridge or stick them in Ziplock bags and place in the freezer for a delicious frozen treat.

For those people with more interest and energy (I found I enjoyed doing this on occasion) try skewers of melon (cantaloupe, honeydew, or watermelon) and top off with a strawberry. Dipping in Cool Whip helps, too!

"On the Run: Sports/After School”

AKA: "Backpack-Friendly Food" Anything in the backpack needs to be individually wrapped and ready to eat.

• Try a Kashi GoLean Crunch Bar and an apple.

Mix and match a bar and fruit for variety, including the "Cereal Bars," which are essentially a bowl of cereal and milk in a bar. (Think Honey Nut Cheerios and Raisin Bran).



• Ziplock bag of nuts and raisins mixed trail mix, home made or purchased.


• Mini box of cereal. (Think variety pack.)


• Low fat string cheese with a pack of Wheat Thins (100 calorie pack) or cracker favorites.
  
• Bottle of water, Propel or other low-calorie drinks or diet soda (if your child won’t drink these others).

”Stress and Boredom Eating”

(Yes, kids have this too!)

• Time for crunch: Low fat microwave popcorn.
• Cut up veggies: Your own, or buy a pre-made tray with dip.

  Mini packs of carrots (with dip) in a 3-pack or celery with peanut butter in a 3-pack
  Creative types can make “Ants on a Log,” celery filled with peanut butter and topped with raisins or a new favorite, “Red Ants on a Log,” with Craisins on top, instead.

• Frozen Grapes: Sweet, crunchy and takes a longer time to eat and enjoy

Drinks

Hydration versus junk drinks:

• Get the soda out of the house!
No reason to keep it handy. Make that choice available outside in a restaurant or for special occasions only.


• Water as a first choice, tap or bottled.


• Choose low calorie drinks: Diet soda can be a choice if your child won’t opt for water.

Another soda replacement: Take one part 100% juice (Your choice–grape and cranberry go well) to three parts seltzer to make a sparkling drink.


• Milk: Stick with skim or 1% milk. A glass is great anytime.


• For sports, water is best, but if sports drinks like Gatorade are your child’s favorite, buy the eight ounce small bottles. Refill with water at the field.


• Buy the small, dried sachets of Propel, green tea, etc. to add to water for a change.


• Skip the coffee house drinks: Most kids are looking for "Mocha" a "Frapp," all loaded with sugar. If selected, choose smallest size.
• Low or non calorie flavored waters. Beware: Clear doesn't make it calorie free!

Chips

• Look for small, individual bags–about 1.5 to 1.5 ounces each. Kids can eat the whole thing. No decision there!


• Regular chips are okay. Or, look for baked chips to avoid getting used to “mouth feel” of greasier chips. Key is portion control.


• Try individual bag of pretzels–low fat, larger serving for same calories.


• Low-fat popcorn–individual bags or microwave. Look for single serve, 100 calorie packs.

Cookies

• Easiest is 100-150 calorie packs. Graham sticks (Honey Maid), fudge stripes (Keebler), Oreos (Nabisco) and many others provide individual servings with automatic portion control, and easy for on-the-go.
No thinking about portion, which is best when your child is taking his/her own

Candy

• Portion is key here. Keep one or two selections at home. Bigger bars will be purchased outside with friends and you don’t have control there.


• Halloween-size bars. Read the label for one serving per bag. Licorice, chocolate; it’s all the same.


• Don’t be fooled: Most granola bars, Fruit Roll-ups, etc. are just the same as candy, so if your child would rather have candy, that’s okay. Otherwise, they will just have both


• Nature’s candy: Perfect world choice would be dried fruit. Try to combine them with other snacks.

What About Junk Food?:

I'm always asked this question by concerned parents. I believe that kids can, and should, have some free “treats” during the day.

This gets away from the concept of "forbidden" or "bad" foods, and heads off deprivation. Figure about 200-250 calories for the “junk” items–about 10% of calories. (Average range of daily calories from 2000-2500 calories.) This includes soda, candy, and cookies.

A new toothbrush every few months is also part of this!

Happy snacking!

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More from Madelyn:

• Healthy After-School Snacks at a Glance

Watch the Healthy After-School Snacks segment from TODAY:
Click image to view.

"No Gain" is a Weight Loss Plus

Have you been disappointed when the number on the scale isn't going down? Everyone has that experience, and is totally bummed out when effort doesn't seem to pay off with reduced poundage.

I'd like to share the single best piece of information I know to fight off negative vibes when the scale doesn't move. It's the one I share with all of my patients when they feel that they're failing in their weight loss effort and tell me, "I didn't lose weight this month."

My response? You didn't gain any weight, either! This phrase is usually first met with some puzzlement, and then a smile, as the light bulb of positive action takes place. "Not gaining weight" is a major weight loss plus.

Staying even requires a lot of effort, and the absence of weight gain on the scale demonstrates that.

The scale can be a great help to staying on track, if you don't measure success only by a constant decline. Just staying even is a plus and demonstrates significant lifestyle work.

Without monitoring both eating and activity, extra pounds easily can "sneak up." Many people report enormous surprise waking up one day, "suddenly" 30 pounds heavier. It is so easy in our environment to experience weight creep which is almost invisible and always lurking.

Just 100 extra calories a day packs on 10 pounds in a year. A bit of mindful eating, cutting 100 calories here and there, and walking 20-30 minutes can offset that with almost no effort. The trick (which is not a trick, but a goal to work towards) is doing this most days.

We can all be weight loss winners, even when the scale doesn't budge. What do you think?