You Are What You (and Your Friends) Eat

By now most of you have read the headlines of yet another factor associated with the increasing obesity epidemic in our country: Blame overeating on your friends.

What? The fundamental findings in this study of 12,000 people take a look at factors that were associated with excess weight:

1. Heavy people had heavy friends
2. People with heavy friends, became heavier themselves

Now, before you start evaluating your friends based on their body size, and how they might be sabotaging your own weight loss effort, I'd like to put these results in the context of the society in which we live. The idea that obesity is "socially contagious" is really a no-brainer, at least in this country. We're a country who likes to eat, and food is everywhere, 24/7. Every study out there shows that the more food that's available, the more we eat.

The one thing this study clearly points out is that overweight and obesity are related to BOTH biology and behavior. This is particularly important to emphasize now, in light of the abundance of information reporting the biological causes of obesity (as it the other, non-biological factors are less important!).

We are social beings, and in America, food is a major part of socializing. How much YOU choose to make food a part of your social network is a personal choice, with this study implying that if food is a major part of your social network, you'll tend to find friends who feel the same way—and support each other in overeating. This is not a negative judgment of people who like to eat—it's just a good reminder that our own eating behaviors have a large "learned" component, and we are able to "unlearn" some of our overeating patterns. It doesn't matter what size package you come in, it's hard to limit calories in our eating environment.

Consider what we know from a variety of studies:

1. Americans spend a lot of time eating in restaurants (many more than at home)
2. Portions are huge
3. People eat more in a group than alone
4. Family celebrations involve an abundance of food
5. Eating is a very popular social activity
6. Alcoholic beverage consumption is a highly popular social activity
7. No one, heavy or thin, estimates calories accurately in food

So, is there any surprise that people are getting heavier? I think there are many ways to empower ourselves, no matter what size we are, to be more mindful eaters. Eating is social, and pleasant, but how can we support each other in positive ways, no matter what our size? This extends to both food and non-food related activities?

Here are some of my favorites:

1. Share an entree with a friend, and order a light soup or salad first
2. Order a variety of appetizers to share with a friend for dinner
3. Split a dessert among 4 people
4. Take a walk instead of meeting for a coffee
5. Buy yourself and your friend a pedometer, and catch up with a walk after dinner

While the causes of obesity are a jigsaw puzzle, we can try to put the pieces together in our own way. Friends are part of this effort. Maybe we also need to start to make friends with food—the first step in successful weight management.

I'd love to know your thoughts on this!

Comments

great tips, especially at the end. i totally agree with everything that was said in this article. my friend is heavier and when we go to lunch i find myself eating more than necessary. thanks for the advice

I take offense at that because I struggle with my weight yet most of my friends are thin. They actually eat more than me, so to be blamed for making them overeat I don't think so. Like you said it is a choice their choice, my choice as to what we eat don't blame it on anyone else!

I somewhat agree with that. I find, in my case, it's a two way street. I'm responsible for my overeating and I was brought up to clean my plate because of "starving children." That's a pretty hard habit to break, especially when your stomach has become accustomed to it. I got on the health kick two years ago and watched what I ate and, I was the exercise queen, I did really well keeping myself fit. Then I got pregnant with number five...lol! My family always has food around and when we get together, it's hard to watch what you take in. I let myself go after I had my son. Whatever goes into our bodies is essentially our doing and if we're overweight because of that reason, then it's our fault. I understand there are people who have genetics and biology weighing down the scale for them, but for those of us who just like to eat, like me, and who like to work out and not watch what we eat, then we honestly have no one else to blame.

I don't think I agree. Arent spouses supposed to have similar eating habits? My husband is overweight, probably obese. He eats meat, processed "foods", etc. On the flip side, I am careful with what I put in my body--Natural foods, no meat, no dairy, etc. I was vegan and health conscious before my pregnancy. With my baby (I'm about 7.5 months; She's due in Sept.) I've become even more careful. We buy vegan bread without corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup, organic ketchup, etc. The junkiest things I eat (usually) are whole wheat crackers and the occasional can of soup that doesn't have corn syrup or high fructose corn syrup. (I also drink soda, but only about once a week, and very rarely cola)

On the flip side, maybe spouses do adopt each other's or the other's habits. My husband is the one who started buying the aforementioned bread and ketchup, he does eat less processed foods, meats, etc. However, he's doing better.

Hi there! Your site is cool!

Your are so right, when my girlfriend and I go out to eat we order everything to taste and after dinner we are stuffed and we are both trying to lose weight.

Thank you

I think that this article is true to an extent. I think that whenever we are around friends who are heavier we eat more to try and make them feel more comfortable. I know that I do this with my own friends occasionally, but I am trying to stop. I feel that if we all tried to take care of ourselves and be kind and supportive to those who needed help by talking with them privatly and really understanding what they are going through then I think that the people in America would be less fat.

How about where you and your friends eat? Here is a poll asking where you usually eat. I am guessing it's the couch. Poll: http://www.apopularitycontest.com/display_poll.php?ID=5808

good tips. bad research. this whole idea just seems like another way to discriminate against those who are out of shape. Some of my thinnest friends are the WORST eaters and many of my friends who are overweight make beter choices and may even eat less when out - but still stuggle to get in shape.

o my dear doctor honey i cant control my self in eating plz suggest me what should i eat in a day

I totally agree with this. My husband is a big man and my best friend is heavy and between the two of them in one year I have gained 40lbs. Now I am trying to get the weight back off.

I find the opposite problem. I have been a yo-yo dieter for 30 years. When I am in a thin mode, as I am right now, everyone wants tips, suggestions and motivation from me! I don't have any magic solutions, nor do I have motivation enough for anyone else but me. I don't stand in judgment of anyone else, nor can I help them do it my way. At the end of the day, it's an individual struggle for all of us and we must fight on alone, in our own way and time.

I have found that when I'm around people who don't care about what they eat, I end up eating more. This study just makes the assumption that anyone who is overweight doesn't pay attention to how much they eat, which isn't always true. I put on ten pounds after I got married, but that was mostly because it was the first time in my life that no one had told me that I couldn't have something, so I overindulged. Now I pay a little more attention to my meals, but I stick to the 80/20 rule. If I behave and eat well 80% of the time, I'm allowed to eat stuff that's not as good for me 20% of the time. That way I don't end up binging on chocolate, cheetoes, and sparkling apple cider when I start PMSing, lol.

WELL....
THERE IS A LOT TO BE SAID FOR SELF CONTROLL,TYPES OF FOOD,FOOD CHAINS HUMONGUS PORTIONS AND GENERAL LACK OF INTELLIGENCE ABOUT OVER INDULGENCE.
LETS JUST CUT TO THE CHASE....EVERY WEIGHT CONTROLL COMPANY, WEIGHT WATCHERS ,ETC. BASICALLY CHARGE A LOT OF MONEY FOR PEOPLE TO CONSUME THEIR PRODUCTS OF LESSER QUANTITY AND GREATER COST....TARGETING THE FAT BASTARDS WITH LITTLE OR NO SELF CONTROLL,...TARGETING THOSE WHO ARE MENTALLY HIDING BEHIND THE COMFORT AND SECURITY OF A FAT BODY... TARGETING BASICALLY A FAT, LETHARGIC, STUPID SOCIETY....MY SUGGESTION WOULD BE TO HAVE FREE TROUGHS IN EVERY TOWN IN AMERICA FOR THOSE PEOPLE TO GORGE THEMSELVES TO DEATH...THUS ELIMINATING A DRAIN ON SOCIETY AND OUR HEALTH SYSTEMS PRIMARY REASON FOR EXPENSIVE HEALTH CARE...THESE INDIVIDUALS WILL NOT EVER STRIVE TO LEARN ABOUT THE EFFECTS OF NOT CARING FOR THEIR BODIES OR ANYTHING ELSE...THE MAJORITY OF FAT PEOPLE ARE FAT MINDED,INDIVIDUALS WHO DON'T TAKE CARE OF ANYTHING.THEIR DIRTY HOUSE, CAR,CLOTHING, LET ALONE THEIR BODYS

Ihave a concept about fat anything....
don't over excess for any reason...I maintain a body weight that has not fluxuated more than +- 5 lbs. in my life... due largely to remembering this comment years age......
Put a baby in a room with varieties of foods stuffs (good & bad)
and they will consume what their body dictates or requires... no more-noless
I eat usually one main meal daily and balance my eating with organ meats, veggies,fish,herbs, some meat and poultry,little or no dairy and lots of liquids..no soda pop,mostly tea,soy milk
and water(2-3 gallons total daily) no weight gain ,no psychological problems, no guiltand no FAT!!! Health is excellent! Prior habits when doing heavy work on a ranch,construction,restaurant amounted to maybe two meals daily..only what my body asked for!!!!

I have an intense dislike for fat people....total lack of self will,controll, intelligence or concern for themselves for the most part.
Fat is a psychological disease or disorder of those without any concern for themselves or for that matter quite possibly anyone else?!?!?!

It's very true I have friends that make fun of me because I never finish eating everthing in my plate. Now because I don't want to seem wastefull I keep eating even though I'm full.